Well today I had my first therapy session with my counsellor and man was it rough.  Of course he was jsut trying to get a feel for what i need and whats going on with me, but there are so many things that I was kind of all over the place.

 

The biggest thing I took away from today was this:

 

 I knew there had been an issue with coping methods, since I had not been eating away my worries I had not been dealing with my anxiety and stress well but I had a hard time seeing the connection although I knew it was there.  With just a few questions my counsellor made it clear to me without saying anything, that not only were my coping methods weakened but my support system was weak as well.  I had lost my biggest supporter in my grandma and my other friends and family don't really get whats going on with me because they can't see it cause they don't work with me, so they aren't really able to understand and give me their support.  Or some friends are busy dealing with their own problems and therefore unable to listen to mine. 

He pointed out that I had been referring to my "old self" vrs my "current self" and the confusion I had shown with needing to get back to my old personality (pre burnout) but not going back to my old fat less confident less happy self(pre WW). 

 

I liked my counsellor who was around my age and I felt very comfortable with him.  I did cry quite a bit but I knew I would, I get emotional when I am stressed.  I knew he was a professional and had seen it all before as well so I wasn't too embarrassed. 

 

I felt better after leaving and he left me with a question, "What parts of myself do I want to keep?"  What changes have I made taht I want to retain as part of myself and not change. 

 

I am going to really think on this and journal on it so I am prepared for next session.  I am glad I have found someone to talk to.